This post has taken weeks or rather, months to write, all because of needing to figure out my own emotions, and deciding how honest to be. Well here we are, some 6 months later!
Once Emily got to about 9 months old, I knew for sure that I wanted more children. I loved spending time with her and watching her grow, and I didn’t want her to grow up an only child – so it was logical to have another baby. I didn’t expect to fall pregnant so easily, but I just knew in the days leading up to doing a test that I indeed was pregnant.
When the pregnancy test came back positive, I remember clearly feeling the expected excitement, but also a pang of guilt. Here I have a perfectly healthy, amazing daughter, who is still so dependent on me for almost everything. And now I’m planning on having another baby. Is this not going to be too much for Emily? How will she cope with not having all our attention focused on her? How will the new baby adapt not having my entire focus? And lastly, how will my heart be big enough to love them both the same?
I’ve had these, and more, questions run through my mind the past couple of months and it all makes things so different to my first pregnancy (well that and the severe morning sickness this time around). Over time and with some thought, I’ve come to realize that even though a second baby won’t have all our time exclusively, they get the benefit of having “experienced parents”. And for Emily, she is going to be gaining a sibling – hopefully a lifelong friend!
So with an EDD of 26/09/2018, we’re just about a Winter away from welcoming our next baby girl into the world, and we couldn’t be more excited!